Where has all the effort gone??

I heard an interesting quote recently: "If things are hard I give up. When things are easy I still give up because it'll get harder later." It's shocking, but the student who said it wasn't just speaking his truth; he was speaking a large number of his peers truths as well. It's a sad thing to hear, but necessary, to know that this is how a lot of young people view the world. Scratch that...this is how a lot of PEOPLE view the world.
What makes our jobs all the more difficult with a group of our students feeling this way is that trying to explain that this is a horrible way to exist is even more difficult than explaining why my 14 year old basic readers need to know the periodic table. Reality tv today has promoted a sense of ease about life. No working...just playing and that equals success. How do we combat this in those who intrinsically believe it? Your quess is as good as mine, but instilling qualities in your small children that show them the value of effort sure can be a start. If you work hard, show your kids and make them aware of it. They may not appreciate it at that time, but the earlier and more frequent the better. Kids really do gain so much from what they learn as small children. This doesn't mean that teenagers can't learn those lessons as well, but its like learning a foreign language...it's easier the younger you start.
I often tell my students who think I "hate" them that, "You're too young to hate, but I definitely don't like your thoughts/behaviors." My 8th graders are only a portion of who they will be as adults, so teaching them work ethic and strong character will make an impression, but only if you show them...don't talk at them...talk with them. These lessons will make them better people and citizens one day. Put the effort into them and hope that they will in turn put the effort in on their lives.

If You're Never Present...Are You Really Absent??

We all remember one or more of our first days of school. There were 13 of them for most of us, and each of them had some similarities. Figuring out who we should sit next to, listening to the teacher butcher difficult names on the roll, & deciding how we’d answer when she would call our name were some of the things that we ALL did. Whether you were a kid who said, “present”, “here”, “absent” (my personal favorite), or “aqui” (for Spanish class), we’ve all had those moments each year. Now, as teachers, we call roll and try not to butcher names. But the rule we must remember is that if a student is not present on the first day, that student is not absent. You have to show up to be absent. I’ve never quite understood this rule, but it brings me to the point of this post. If a parent never shows up, are they really absent? My short answer is, yes! But we all know that with teaching there are never really any short answers.

We are required, throughout the year, to attend meetings for our students. Some of these are teacher conferences, parent/teacher conferences, and all sorts of special education meetings. While the law may require us to attend the special education ones, we must go to the others. They are for the benefit of the each student. They may fall on our valuable planning and lunch times or before and after school. We are still present. I find it very difficult to understand why some parents can’t make it to any of these meetings. We don’t live in a utopian society, and most of us have to work. This accounts for some absences to meetings, but how can you be absent from it all? I’m not a parent, and don’t know what is like to be one. I do know that I have taught children who come from single parent homes where the one parent works multiple jobs and can show up to meetings. I’ve also seen a parent in a similar situation not show up to any meetings. No two situations are alike and each situation should be dealt with differently. What’s hard for me to understand is how any one person can justify not ever showing up for their child. I want all of my students to be successful and I can’t imagine any parent who wouldn’t want success for their child, but you have to be present to help.

If you can’t show up to meetings requested by school see if they can have a phone conference with you. There are always options. Trust that if you make yourself available to your child’s school they will be there to try to answer your questions or resolve your issue. A parent should never not know at least one of their child’s teachers. At most of the school’s I’ve worked at we are required to make phone contact at the beginning of each year. If you don’t get that call you should touch base with their teacher. Make your name known and let that teacher know how and when they can contact you throughout the year. Remember the school is required to have a phone number, but we aren’t required to have an email address and if that’s your preferred mode of communication, let it be known.  Don’t fall into the trap of that no news is good news. It may be the truth in your situation, but sometimes it’s not and your call can be the catalyst to some positive changes in your child’s education.

On the flip side of this equation are the schools where parents never leave. Most of us have had our fair share of dealings with these parents. They are also known as “helicopter” parents.  Yes, this is a real term and if you’re unfamiliar with it, look it up! This is a term that I will devote an entire post to, but not today. These are not the only two options a parent has. There is a happy medium, where most of us are comfortable with and where most of us were raised experiencing.

I know I’m preaching to the choir here, but I also know that a parent may read this one day and question whether they are absent from their child’s educational process. Don’t let an answer of yes stay that way. It’s never too late to show up! And once you’re counted as present you won’t ever want to be absent!

Does Done Really Mean DONE?!?!

As I start this blogging journey I feel that is necessary to explain where, why, and how it all got started. I'm a special education teacher in my 7th year of teaching and have worked at 3 schools in 2 different school systems throughout my career. If I had to explain my overall teaching mentality I'd say that I go into work everyday hoping to help my students become better learners and better people. I have moments where I love what I do and moments when I say, "I'm done!" 


With that being said, I've said, "I'm done!" so many times, but never once have I put in my resignation or given my students the inclination that I am on my way out. I have to believe that this is because I'm not really "done" per-say, but I'm not sure how much longer I can last. Seven years in a career isn't long in my opinion. I should have more in me, but I feel that my job now has an expiration date on it like the milk in my refrigerator. 


I don't know if any college education major starts his/her career thinking this is going to be so challenging that before I begin to make a dent in my loans, I'm going to switch careers. We start this job thinking that we can make a difference, that students will be affected by something that we've said or done. Most of us have had teachers that touched our lives when we were younger. I was a student with a learning disability from 3rd grade to my senior year, and have had teachers who planted seeds of determination in my mind. Not all of my encounters with teachers were positive, but the negative ones spurred me on as well, and in my senior year I was the strongest student I'd ever been with very little help from the special education department. That was my spark to become an educator. To prove to kids who had learning disabilities that not only is it not a death sentence, but if you take everything that you can from the program you can thrive without it. 


Now to answer my question. Yes, it is a rhetorical question for a lot of people, but for those of us who are feeling the itch to get out it DEMANDS a response. I've come into contact with hundreds of educators throughout my years. I can say I don't think I've met a Ron Clark, Louanne Johnson, Joe Clark, or Erin Gruwell. Most of you may not be familiar with who these people are by name, but they are the protagonist of movies about how regular people came in and made AMAZING changes in their students, schools, and communities. These people are out there. I don't know if I've had my sights set THAT high ever, but I do know that I've touched children on a smaller scale throughout my years. I've been part of the equation that has helped students who never passed a state test make it over that hump. It's a feeling that you can't explain. What makes us say "done" are the students, parents, AND sometimes our peers who continue to come to school on a daily basis who hold up the process for those who want to make those strides. Do not misinterpret that sentence and think I don't think all students don't deserve my help or the education that is their right. Teaching should not be easy, but I shouldn't have to fight students to make them want the education I'm offering. Some how some homes have gotten away from the fact that the woman or man in that room is trying to better their children. We are part of their village trying to raise their family. We are looked at as outsiders who happen to be with the children for 7.25 hours of the day. I, and all teachers, are part of the fabric who make your children the people they are as adults. If we are fought at every step of the battle then what we offer them becomes counterproductive. It is a serious glitch in the mentality. I don't know where it came from and honestly it doesn't matter. If you're a parent look at how your child and you have appreciated those educators in your child's life, NOT with presents, although those are good sometimes too, but with your actions. Are phone calls home met with agitation before they've even started, are stories from your child really questioned before you get a angry, did you attend conferences with an open mind, and are your child's successes celebrated WITH the teacher??? When I say I'm done does it really mean I'm done? Probably not. Each day is a challenge, but if it wasn't worth fighting for NONE of us would be there. My hope is that when I am done someone will say she helped. Then done really does mean something. It means that I've done something to effect someone which was the ultimate goal from the beginning.