As I start this blogging journey I feel that is necessary to explain where, why, and how it all got started. I'm a special education teacher in my 7th year of teaching and have worked at 3 schools in 2 different school systems throughout my career. If I had to explain my overall teaching mentality I'd say that I go into work everyday hoping to help my students become better learners and better people. I have moments where I love what I do and moments when I say, "I'm done!"
With that being said, I've said, "I'm done!" so many times, but never once have I put in my resignation or given my students the inclination that I am on my way out. I have to believe that this is because I'm not really "done" per-say, but I'm not sure how much longer I can last. Seven years in a career isn't long in my opinion. I should have more in me, but I feel that my job now has an expiration date on it like the milk in my refrigerator.
I don't know if any college education major starts his/her career thinking this is going to be so challenging that before I begin to make a dent in my loans, I'm going to switch careers. We start this job thinking that we can make a difference, that students will be affected by something that we've said or done. Most of us have had teachers that touched our lives when we were younger. I was a student with a learning disability from 3rd grade to my senior year, and have had teachers who planted seeds of determination in my mind. Not all of my encounters with teachers were positive, but the negative ones spurred me on as well, and in my senior year I was the strongest student I'd ever been with very little help from the special education department. That was my spark to become an educator. To prove to kids who had learning disabilities that not only is it not a death sentence, but if you take everything that you can from the program you can thrive without it.
Now to answer my question. Yes, it is a rhetorical question for a lot of people, but for those of us who are feeling the itch to get out it DEMANDS a response. I've come into contact with hundreds of educators throughout my years. I can say I don't think I've met a Ron Clark, Louanne Johnson, Joe Clark, or Erin Gruwell. Most of you may not be familiar with who these people are by name, but they are the protagonist of movies about how regular people came in and made AMAZING changes in their students, schools, and communities. These people are out there. I don't know if I've had my sights set THAT high ever, but I do know that I've touched children on a smaller scale throughout my years. I've been part of the equation that has helped students who never passed a state test make it over that hump. It's a feeling that you can't explain. What makes us say "done" are the students, parents, AND sometimes our peers who continue to come to school on a daily basis who hold up the process for those who want to make those strides. Do not misinterpret that sentence and think I don't think all students don't deserve my help or the education that is their right. Teaching should not be easy, but I shouldn't have to fight students to make them want the education I'm offering. Some how some homes have gotten away from the fact that the woman or man in that room is trying to better their children. We are part of their village trying to raise their family. We are looked at as outsiders who happen to be with the children for 7.25 hours of the day. I, and all teachers, are part of the fabric who make your children the people they are as adults. If we are fought at every step of the battle then what we offer them becomes counterproductive. It is a serious glitch in the mentality. I don't know where it came from and honestly it doesn't matter. If you're a parent look at how your child and you have appreciated those educators in your child's life, NOT with presents, although those are good sometimes too, but with your actions. Are phone calls home met with agitation before they've even started, are stories from your child really questioned before you get a angry, did you attend conferences with an open mind, and are your child's successes celebrated WITH the teacher??? When I say I'm done does it really mean I'm done? Probably not. Each day is a challenge, but if it wasn't worth fighting for NONE of us would be there. My hope is that when I am done someone will say she helped. Then done really does mean something. It means that I've done something to effect someone which was the ultimate goal from the beginning.
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