If You're Never Present...Are You Really Absent??

We all remember one or more of our first days of school. There were 13 of them for most of us, and each of them had some similarities. Figuring out who we should sit next to, listening to the teacher butcher difficult names on the roll, & deciding how we’d answer when she would call our name were some of the things that we ALL did. Whether you were a kid who said, “present”, “here”, “absent” (my personal favorite), or “aqui” (for Spanish class), we’ve all had those moments each year. Now, as teachers, we call roll and try not to butcher names. But the rule we must remember is that if a student is not present on the first day, that student is not absent. You have to show up to be absent. I’ve never quite understood this rule, but it brings me to the point of this post. If a parent never shows up, are they really absent? My short answer is, yes! But we all know that with teaching there are never really any short answers.

We are required, throughout the year, to attend meetings for our students. Some of these are teacher conferences, parent/teacher conferences, and all sorts of special education meetings. While the law may require us to attend the special education ones, we must go to the others. They are for the benefit of the each student. They may fall on our valuable planning and lunch times or before and after school. We are still present. I find it very difficult to understand why some parents can’t make it to any of these meetings. We don’t live in a utopian society, and most of us have to work. This accounts for some absences to meetings, but how can you be absent from it all? I’m not a parent, and don’t know what is like to be one. I do know that I have taught children who come from single parent homes where the one parent works multiple jobs and can show up to meetings. I’ve also seen a parent in a similar situation not show up to any meetings. No two situations are alike and each situation should be dealt with differently. What’s hard for me to understand is how any one person can justify not ever showing up for their child. I want all of my students to be successful and I can’t imagine any parent who wouldn’t want success for their child, but you have to be present to help.

If you can’t show up to meetings requested by school see if they can have a phone conference with you. There are always options. Trust that if you make yourself available to your child’s school they will be there to try to answer your questions or resolve your issue. A parent should never not know at least one of their child’s teachers. At most of the school’s I’ve worked at we are required to make phone contact at the beginning of each year. If you don’t get that call you should touch base with their teacher. Make your name known and let that teacher know how and when they can contact you throughout the year. Remember the school is required to have a phone number, but we aren’t required to have an email address and if that’s your preferred mode of communication, let it be known.  Don’t fall into the trap of that no news is good news. It may be the truth in your situation, but sometimes it’s not and your call can be the catalyst to some positive changes in your child’s education.

On the flip side of this equation are the schools where parents never leave. Most of us have had our fair share of dealings with these parents. They are also known as “helicopter” parents.  Yes, this is a real term and if you’re unfamiliar with it, look it up! This is a term that I will devote an entire post to, but not today. These are not the only two options a parent has. There is a happy medium, where most of us are comfortable with and where most of us were raised experiencing.

I know I’m preaching to the choir here, but I also know that a parent may read this one day and question whether they are absent from their child’s educational process. Don’t let an answer of yes stay that way. It’s never too late to show up! And once you’re counted as present you won’t ever want to be absent!